Dear God,
I just want to say that I have been using your product for just over 40 years, and while I have experienced a few genetically inspired technical difficulties, on the whole I have been happy with the condition and performance of my body. Obviously, I would have been happier with a slightly more productive replication system (ie having kids), but since I didn’t get a choice on models, I have to be happy with what I have.
I do however, wish to complain about the lack of quality control and astonishing level of design inconsistency in the product. After intense questioning and research (no it was not gossiping on work time …. it was research), it has become apparent to me that there are vast variants in the performance of the female body. As an example, I would like to call your attention to the fat retention system.
I would like to know how hard it could be to design a body that gains weight in a predictable manner, and loses said weight in the same predictable manner? But no ….. we women are stuck on the russian roulette of weight loss. If I hear one more woman tell me that she “just gave up latte’s” …. and lost a dress size in a week ….. I may possibly put this massive arse of mine to more lethal use. If I gave up latte’s …. all I would lose is the ability to think coherently due to caffiene withdrawal. It seems to me, that all bodies should require the same amount of denial and self limitation, in order to lose weight. Making it mega easy for some, and virtually impossible for others …….. is just plain mean. The same goes for the replication system (ie baby making), and the emotion management system. Giving just some of us the human equivalent of a Leyland P76 ……. is cruel and unusual punishment.
Your loving daughter …… datcat.
