I always feel this way every year. You think I would have resolved it at 40 years of age, but yet I still struggle with knowing what the right thing to do is.
Tomorrow is Father’s Day, and the usual routine is to call the significant male parent and wish him Happy Father’s Day. But I haven’t done that for years. He was a neglectful and emotionally abusive parent, he used my brother and myself as emotional weapons in his fights with our mother, he does his best to “outdo” mum even now after over 20 years divorced, and he is driving my sister batty with thoughtless, selfish behaviour.
But ….. my mother was no angel either.  I still ring her for Mother’s Day.
How can I justify punishing one but not the other? If I did call, would he think his current behaviour is approved? If I don’t, am I being one eyed and selfish.  Considering how angry my sister is with him, if I call I may be the only one that does.
I know that its a special skill of mine, to overthink and overworry things …. but its the way I am. Every time we have a significant event like this, I suffer the same agony of decision.   I wish I had answers but I don’t.
