Making school a happy place

I am talking about regular school, either public or private.  I know there are some alternative schools around, and certainly there is the homeschool option, but the majority of people send their children to regular schools, and its important to prepare your child for the experience.

Most would know, I work in a primary school.  I am not in the classroom …. I am in the office, working as the secretary/finance officer.  I still have a lot of contact with the students though.  I am the first aid officer, so most times I am the one that provides “stand in mummy” attention when a child is hurt, tired or in need of a hug.  In the past though, I worked in the classroom as a LSA (learning support assistant) … that part of my working life covered almost 15 years.  I am not an “expert” but I certainly have observed a lot in the last 20 years of working with children.  I think we can all agree, school needs to be a happy place, its better to enjoy education….. because you learn more if its fun.  Regular school is not a stern place. Teachers work hard to make learning enjoyable, challenging, and interesting because of course …. their job is to educate our children.  And happy children are easier to teach.

The current fashion in parenting seems to be “free range” children …… not imposing boundaries, but instead leaving the child to develop their own moral compass.   From my own parenting standpoint I don’t really agree with this approach, but speaking from an education standpoint, its a parenting style that does not work well with regular education.  When a child comes into a school setting, they need to be able to follow instructions, accept the authority of a teacher, take turns and share with classmates, accept when they can’t always do what they want, and not lash out physically if they don’t get their own way.  This is a gradual learning curve, and most children adjust to school and these boundaries quite well.  However a free range child can sometimes find the change from their previously known environment traumatic.  Going from being the centre of their universe, where they set the rules, to having to conform to a group dynamic ….. can lead to rebellious behaviour, aggressive tantrums, school aversion and tears.   A teacher does not impose these boundaries because they dislike a child …… a teacher needs to teach 25+ children, not 1.  The boundaries help to create an environment where all in the class learn, while hopefully feeling safe and confident in the environment.  Teachers speak about this skill as resilience ……. helping a child bend and adjust when they aren’t always in total control of the rules.

But ….. as parents we can’t ignore the need for these skills until its time for school.  Resilience training starts in toddlerhood, and the lessons come from parents.   Setting firm boundaries,  encouraging sound negotiating skills, and teaching our kids to accept authority ….. starts long before the school bell.  It doesn’t mean we are stifling our children …. it means that we make the school years an enjoyable time, because we are giving our children skills to function in the real world.