Man Flu …. its deadly

This actually happened over a year ago, but I am hoping the time passed means that my husband won’t be offended that I post this. This is a series of posts in a forum I frequent, that document my brush with this horrible disease.

Day 1
Headache …… check
low grade fever ….. check
nasal and sinus congestion ……. check
severe coughing ……. check
vomiting ……. check
chills ……. check
muscle aches……….. check

So .,….. I would assume that hubby has the flu.
additional symptoms
extreme irritability ……. check
inability to speak civilly to anyone ……. check
expecting to be waiting on hand and foot …….. check
offended that I didn’t stay home from work to look after him …… check
finger poised on 000 …… check
So ….. I would assume that he has man flu as well

Day two. And his popularity in this household is rapidly declining.

* Last night, he waited until I got into bed, before demanding a drink of water.
* He snapped at me because my choices for what he would like to eat, weren’t what he was thinking of.
* of course I got in trouble for not hearing him whisper in another room.
* apparently its my fault that he is vomiting
* oh the pleasure of having someone cough directly in your face (r) Not smart when I have all these pillows on hand
* I need to find my way to bed in the dark
* having the flu makes him incapable of talking to the health nurse on the phone. I have to be late for work, so I can do that for him
* the dog looked at him funny.

That last one is true. The dog is very concerned every time he gets a coughing fit, and tends to run away or hide behind my chair. I however, must do something about the funny looks he is giving hubby.

Day 5
Well ….. today is the first day I have been on time to work, and thats because I ignored hubby totally while getting ready.

He flatly refuses to use a bowl of hot water and vicks (covering his head with a towel) to ease the nasal congestion ….. so today I bought him a Vicks breather. It performs exactly the same function ….. but of course because its a toy to play with …. he will happily use it.

Day … I can’t actually remember what number … the days blurred after a while.
Ok …. Well its sunday morning. I have managed to have a nice long shower without him calling out to me once ….. amazing.

A couple of things ……..

* the vicks steamer is an ongoing management thing ……. its not my fault it hasn’t “fixed” the congestion
* groaning when I am reading in bed, then asserting innocence when I get the hint to turn the light off …… is just asking to be suffocated with a pillow.
* it is not my fault that food tastes funny
* yes … I did insist that your 3 days worn trakky pants have to be washed …. deal with it.
* it helps to tell me what you want at the shops …. before I leave.
* no I didn’t do anything to your food ….. its your tastebuds
* I can buy more drugs if you want, but they all have the same ingredients, so there is no point. Why not try the saline nasal spray, or salt water gargle ….. like I told you last time you whined at me
* for gods sake …… I am not trying to poison you! Food tastes funny when you have a cold.

As you can see ….. my life is a permanent episode of Fawlty Towers.