Women speak ……..

Its been no secret for eons, that women and men are actually different species, that happen to coexist on the same lump of rock. SOOOO many problems and issues are caused, exacerbated and exploded…… simply by a major conflict in communication styles.

So …. since I am a woman, I want to give men a little clue, on exactly how to interpret the little signals that your lovely lady is sending you.

For starters, there is no such thing as a direct conversation with a woman. We spend our lives, caring for the physical and emotional well being of our children, parents, friends and family ….. that to make a direct statement that details our own needs, is extremely difficult, if not impossible. Instead we give hints, hoping that our man gets the idea, and helps to meet our needs. When that fails, we feel a rash of feelings, starting with hurt and frustration, anger … but coupled with guilt, because society tells us our needs don’t matter anyway. As a result we are conflicted, and our partner is on the receiving end of our emotions, because we have no other channel.

A conversation with a women never starts with a closed sentence; a closed sentence is one where expected response is short, and does not inspire further discussion. Men have closed sentence conversations ….. Do you want a beer – yes. How was the fishing? – good. Was school good today? – yes. Women are programmed to communicate with open sentences ….. Do you have a favourite drink? what was it like on the river? What happened at school today? This isn’t just because we like to talk. Because we spend a larger amount of time communicating with children, our language style is programmed to draw out and encourage conversation, and therefore educate.

When women are struggling with an issue where they need support or have needs they want met, they will often start out with an open sentence. It will be something like “Its been a rough couple of weeks” or “I have been thinking about some things”. Nothing disappoints us more when the man who apparently cares about us, responds to this opportunity to show concern ….. with a closed “yes” or worse still ….. a grunt. In one short moment, he has effectively told us that he doesn’t care how we feel, and that we are inconsequential.

Men ….. you aren’t responsible for our happiness, but there is loads you can do that can add to it. All it takes is a bit of time to read the signals, and a bit of thought to communicate in a way we understand.