You know the problem .. you place child onto the change table, and child instantly turns into an electrified octopus, who has had too much sugar. Often this will include twisting, rolling, sticking their hands into the nappy, kicking … and often all of the above.
The problem with trying to stop this behaviour when its been happening for quite a while, is that the behaviour is entrenched. When using “Uh Uh”(or any other verbal prompt), basically you start that as soon as they start attempting to roll. By being consistent with the rules (no rolling, hands away, lie still), and using the same verbal prompt (UhUh) every single time, you train the child that while they are being changed, they do not move, and certainly do not put their hands in the nappy. Of course they will forget, which is why its important to use the same rule and prompt at all times. There is no point getting cross at them, or making your expectations stricter every time they try to do the wrong thing ….. because you confuse them, and you teach them that you are inconsistent … this is about educating them.
Trying to exert control with a toddler, when you haven’t laid the ground rules …… is going to be that much harder. I would suggest developing a series of steps for nappy change time. Such as …..
1. Lie on the change table
2. Hands above your head
3. Nappy off
4. Bum clean
5. Nappy on
6. Hooray!
In special needs programs, you would actually have a steps chart, with a picture image for each step. You use the same language, and exactly the same steps …. EVERY SINGLE TIME. This is super important. You can’t train the child to do the correct behaviour, if you alter your expectations all the time. Make sure you tell the child what they are going to do next….. Now we are taking the nappy off. Now we are cleaning your bum, now we are putting your nappy on. Hooray!
Finally …. there needs to be an incentive. Giving a toy, food or sticker …. while still having them behave in the wrong way …. reinforces that they don’t have to behave. So to start with ….. give them a clear instruction ….. “Lie still” …. when they do what their told, reward immediately with praise and cuddles. If child attempts to roll or put their hands in the nappy, grab both hands, and then press them against the child’s chest, while saying “Uh Uh” … and then repeat saying the step. Once they give in, again praise and cuddles. At the end of the entire process, hop off the table, both hands in the air and a loud Hooray!.
A tap on the leg may work ok …… but without education about what is expected, all that it teaches is that mummy inflicts pain. Physical discipline is only an emphasis …. a way to grab the child’s attention. It needs to accompany real education and training.
