***I had posted this in a topic in a forum, but I feel its a good reminder to myself, especially when I am disappointed about my parents and their relationship with me. ****
I have at times cut my parents off, but I haven’t cut ties totally. My parents are a complex pair. Mum is a selfish drama queen, who is prone to depression. Dad is a selfish control freak, with an impulsive, cruel nature. As you can imagine, those personality types, attempting to parent a highly emotional, sensitive child …. was probably bound to fail. The emotional abuse I suffered from both of them still shows scars now. They divorced when I was 10. During and following that divorce, my brother and I were constant ammunition, and punching bags …. for two angry people, who had no idea how to deal with the failure of their marriage.
When I got married, I think a fair portion of my initial choice was an “escape” from both parents. Lucky for me, my choice was a good one, and we are still married, and deeply in love. But that hasn’t stopped either of them, for criticising my choice, and attempting to destroy my happiness. As a result, while I have always maintained a physical distance (living 1000’s km away, and now interstate), I also maintain an emotional distance. Mum has always been aware of this, and chooses to ignore it. Dad is only becoming aware of it now, and occasionally attempts to bully me into giving more, but I am too independent now, to be pushed around by him.
I am not saying that the way I choose to manage my relationship with my parents, is the correct way. Its the way that works for me, or at least works for me, right now. Tomorrow, next year or further ….. the situation may change.
