….. and other such rubbish bits of advice.
I could never understand this bit of advice, “you need to get out of your comfort zone”. While on the surface this seems like encouragement to stretch your boundaries, to me it feels like “your life is boring to me, and you need to fix that”.
What is wrong with my comfort zone? Its a space where I feel safe, and confident. Residing within this zone doesn’t mean I don’t try new things, or look to learn. It means that I understand my mental and emotional limits, and look to remain within them.
As a teenager, I injured myself trying to catch my step-sister as she fell down a cliff. I have a wonky, cracked knee-cap as a result. In the process of catching her, we both fell into the deep water of a river, and we both nearly drowned.  I repeated this many years later, when my heart condition asserted itself. I passed out for a few moments in a pool during an exercise class, nearly drowning again. These events in my life didn’t seem to loom all that large, but obviously they have a place in my subconscious.
A recent trip to the tropics, with beautiful crystal clear water. I caught a cold, but pushed myself to swim and experience as much as I could. I had held off snorkeling, because I was congested and having trouble breathing, but was feeling the pressure from others to “get out of my comfort zone”. It occurred to me, that putting my face into the sea water, and breathing some water through my nose might help the congestion. I didn’t think this would be a problem; I have no problems with the feeling of water on my face/eyes.
What followed was a significant trigger event for me, that left me shaken. I experienced all the physical sensations I felt when drowning. The sudden, intense pressure as water went into my lungs, the heaviness in my chest, and the strange peace that descends when you can’t take a breath, and the sheer panic as your brain tries to stop you from giving in. I hadn’t actually breathed in any water, but my subconscious was having none of it. I know now, that snorkeling is not for me; I just can’t deal with the sensations.
And thats ok. My comfort zone isn’t there to limit me, its to protect me.
