Embroidered Denim Pinafore – upcycle

Posted on May 4, 2019 by Dani

This is an embroidered denim skirt, extremely popular in the late 90’s. On a regular sized person, it would hit about mid calf, however on me, it would brush the ground, meaning the hip/thighs hit the wrong point, and it would just looking spectacularly ridiculous. Hemming was impossible, due to the complexity of the embroidery. I found this one at a local charity store.

Embroidered pinafore

The pattern used was the York Pinafore by Helens Closet. I used the previous draft I made for the striped pinny, including the shorter length.
As the pattern was too long for the skirt, I made a slight modification, tracing off a separate strap piece at the front, and faux yoke at the back, using the shorten/lengthen line as a guide. These were then cut separately from the left over fabric in the middle.
To keep the hem even, I angled out the pattern pieces from the centre front. Knowing this would add extra width, I chose to fold in the cocoon shape at the side seams, making it more straight.

Embroidered pinafore

I love when there is almost no waste in a project.

Embroidered pinafore

Straps attached and top stitched.

Embroidered pinafore

Doing the hemline, I could have just straight stitched it, but I decided to unpick a portion of the hemline, folding it back up and topstitching after sewing the side seam.

Embroidered pinafore

The side seam is a bit loose, but a quick try on showed it was a little too big. I used my french curve to (ironically) draw in the cocoon shape again, pulling in the side seam in the process.

Embroidered pinafore

And the finished product. Very happy with this make, a good winter layering design. I will pair them with leggins or tights and knee-high boots.

Embroidered pinafore
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Denim Pinny

Posted on April 24, 2019 by Dani

Pattern Description: 
The York Pinafore is easy to layer over tank tops for summer or turtlenecks and leggings for colder weather. It is a modern take on a classic pinafore dress with a cocoon shape and two views. View A features large scoop pockets, a dipped neckline, and comes to the knee. View B is a shorter length with a high neckline and a kangaroo pocket.

I used view A (pockets and deep neck), but cut to about 2inches shorter than the View B. I am short, and didn’t want it overly long. This will be worn over leggings for winter.

Pattern Sizing:
Size Range: 0-30
I cut a size 20 for shoulders/bodice, extended out to a 24 at waist, grading out to a 26 over the hips. I then cut back this grading back to a 24, as I wasn’t fond of the cocoon shape as it was exaggerated on my body shape, 

Did it look like the photo/drawing on the pattern envelope once you were done sewing with it?
Reasonably so

Were the instructions easy to follow?
Yes. In particular I was impressed with the notes that gave beginner and experienced options for particular features, with clear instructions. While “attach binding” is ok for an experienced sewist, having step by step instructions, I am sure helps the learner sewist.

What did you particularly like or dislike about the pattern?
The finished measurements in the pattern information, provide a helpful reference. For example, if you wanted the bib wider, to provide more modest coverage, you could use the larger size width at that point, but maintain the neckline at the best size for you. 

While I may make the longer version at some time, I don’t think a kangaroo pocket would work for me. 

As I said before, the cocoon shape is quite pronounced. On a hourglass or pear shaped person, this would be fine, but on me, it tends to look like empty saddlebags. 

Pattern alterations or any design changes you made:
To avoid the hell that is pattern matching, I rotated the pocket pattern piece 45degs, and cut them to give an angled stripe pocket. While I had to watch the bias stretch, I think this was a success. 

York Pinafore

Fabric Used:
A piece of striped denim, gifted to me by a friend, as thanks. 

York Pinafore

Would you sew it again? Would you recommend it to others?
I will be sewing this again. I plan to use the design with a thrifted skirt, to take advantage of an embroidered feature on the fabric. 

Conclusion: 
Its a simple design, but has yielded a good result, on what is basically my wearable muslin. quite happy with that. 

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Grey Linen Lounge Pants

Posted on April 17, 2019 by Dani

Pattern Description: 
Pull on pants or shorts with elastic waist and side seam pockets

Grey crinkle cotton pants

Pattern Sizing:
18W-24W. I made the 24W

Did it look like the photo/drawing on the pattern envelope once you were done sewing with it?
sort of, considering I am a plus sized apple.

Grey crinkle cotton pants
Finished pants – nothing flash

Were the instructions easy to follow?
Yep

What did you particularly like or dislike about the pattern?
Its a fairly classic pattern, giving the lagenlook styling, without excessive fabric around the hips and bottom. I wanted to embrace a more lagen-look style, and have been looking for a pair of baggy pants, that fell into the “not too baggy, but not too tight either” zone. I have looked at all sorts of indie designers, but amazingly, found the perfect design in a pattern I have had for over 20 years. Of course I appreciate that I have applied experience to this design. I haven’t used it before, because it seemed like I didn’t fit into the measurements. Now I understand about finished measurements and design ease, I realised that I can actually fit into it. I will be making these again, perhaps with a little bit less rise on the front crotch.

Grey crinkle cotton pants

Fabric Used:
Mystery crinkle cotton, from deep in the stash. Not sure of the vintage, but has moved house with me at least a couple times. 

Pattern alterations or any design changes you made:
Pattern alterations have been minimal. I cut a straight size 24, and I have been astonished that the design so suited my figure. I did leave the legs long, because I like the legs to not creep up when I sit. Overall the instructions were good, although I understitched the pocket openings to stop the inner fabric rolling out. I also serged the edges of the side seams, waist edge and leg hems prior to stitching, so that I created a neat seam finish. Not essential, but it soothes my tiny little perfectionist soul.

Would you sew it again? Would you recommend it to others?
I most definitely will be sewing these again. They are simple, but also versatile and easy to sew. A simple, classic design. The pattern envelope screams 80’s styling, but they sew up pretty much for any era.

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Teal V-neck pleated dress

Posted on April 17, 2019 by Dani

Well despite being unwell, I finished this dress. There has been a fair number of changes since the muslin. 

The pattern is the Bootstrap Fashion Fitted Bodice Dress with Pleats and Pockets (nothing frothy about that name). I made a pretty rookie error with my measurements, and so had to adjust the pattern. A extra dart was inserted in the front, and the back dart widened. I could probably take the back in a bit more at the waist. I lengthened the skirt panels. Firstly, because the muslin was uncomfortably short, at least for me. And I wanted to really showcase the print; the whole point of this dress.

Teal dress

Despite purchasing a generous amount of fabric, that skirt sucks up fabric, and I had to finickle around to fit the bodice in. It has meant that I have ended up with a blue bird at the centre of my chest, but it could have been two of them in pastie position so I figure work with what you have.

Teal dress

One factor that impacted on this sew, was the instructions. Incomprehensible in parts, completely wrong in others, and in one instance, completely missing.

There were a number of issues with the pattern, some where they didn’t match my body, but some at total fault of the pattern.
* the bust points are a little close together for my (admittedly) slightly less perky than most body.
* the front and back bodice/skirt are sewn separately, to allow for the insertion of an invisible side zip. Sewing the side seam is in the instructions at least 2 other ways, neither of which work with a zip insertion. 
* at no point is the waist seam stitched in the round (with the bodice stuffed inside the skirt) despite that being in the instructions
* understitching the pockets would stop them bulging out
* no instructions on stay stitching the back neckline
* there is an incomprehensible seam method for stitching the front and back together at the shoulders, feeding them through a gap in the neckline (the one that is not staystitched and therefore can stretch out) and then stitching. I assume its meant to be similar to when you sew a sleeve hem in a bagged jacket, but I could not figure it out, and went with my own method. 

Teal dress
Invisible seam at shoulders.

I am really pleased with this one, and can see myself using it as a pseudo-block, for future dresses.

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Blue Floral dress – muslin.

Posted on February 9, 2019 by Dani

I decided that I wanted a simple, straight bodice dress.  While my self drafted shirt dress is lovely, I feel that something simpler is in order.  Not wanting to go through the whole drafting process again, I decided to give Bootstrap Fashion custom patterns a go.  I have one of their knit patterns, and it is a staple for winter tunics.

This is the Bootstrap Fashions V-Neck Pleated Skirt Dress With Pockets, entering my measurements to get a custom fit pattern. After deciding to not “leap in” with my good fabric and doing this muslin first, I discovered that the waistline on this dress was as least 2 inches too big; I think I measured wrong.   I have found out the hard way, that while I can measure others properly, I obviously don’t measure myself the right way. I think perhaps, I tend to hold the measuring tape a bit lower when I am measuring my waist. oh well, a lesson learned.

That being said, I actually quite liked the fit across the shoulders, bust point and the back. I decided on putting a 1in dart between the main dart and the side seam (pretty much where I pinned out the bulk).

Adjusted waist

Went back to the sewing room, laid out the dress, and proceeded to draw up and stitch in a basic dart ….. yep, in the back. So, tried on, decided it could do with a bit more, so also put the darts into the front. I have transferred these changes to the pattern, putting the extra dart on the front, but just increasing the main dart on the back. I will have to adjust the skirt panels, but they are a straight rectangle, so shouldn’t be a problem. I used a dress zip, because I didn’t have an invisible, but will do it properly next time.

Floral - muslin

It has pockets!!!!!
Floral - muslin

Now, to cut out the special fabric.

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Get out of your comfort zone ……

Posted on January 17, 2019 by Dani

….. and other such rubbish bits of advice.

I could never understand this bit of advice, “you need to get out of your comfort zone”.  While on the surface this seems like encouragement to stretch your boundaries, to me it feels like “your life is boring to me, and you need to fix that”.

What is wrong with my comfort zone?  Its a space where I feel safe, and confident.  Residing within this zone doesn’t mean I don’t try new things, or look to learn.  It means that I understand my mental and emotional limits, and look to remain within them.

As a teenager, I injured myself trying to catch my step-sister as she fell down a cliff.  I have a wonky, cracked knee-cap as a result.  In the process of catching her, we both fell into the deep water of a river, and we both nearly drowned.   I repeated this many years later, when my heart condition asserted itself.  I passed out for a few moments in a pool during an exercise class, nearly drowning again.  These events in my life didn’t seem to loom all that large, but obviously they have a place in my subconscious.

A recent trip to the tropics, with beautiful crystal clear water.  I caught a cold, but pushed myself to swim and experience as much as I could.  I had held off snorkeling, because I was congested and having trouble breathing, but was feeling the pressure from others to “get out of my comfort zone”.  It occurred to me, that putting my face into the sea water, and breathing some water through my nose might help the congestion.  I didn’t think this would be a problem; I have no problems with the feeling of water on my face/eyes.

What followed was a significant trigger event for me, that left me shaken.  I experienced all the physical sensations I felt when drowning.  The sudden, intense pressure as water went into my lungs, the heaviness in my chest, and the strange peace that descends when you can’t take a breath, and the sheer panic as your brain tries to stop you from giving in.  I hadn’t actually breathed in any water, but my subconscious was having none of it.  I know now, that snorkeling is not for me; I just can’t deal with the sensations.

And thats ok.  My comfort zone isn’t there to limit me, its to protect me.

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Book Week costume

Posted on August 25, 2018 by Dani

Way back, early in my sewing journey, I made clothes primarily for my daughter Naomi.  She was a long thin baby, and a long thin toddler/child/teenager.  I made clothes for her, simply because all I could ever buy for her, either hung off her like sacks, or stopped short of ankles and wrists.  Included in this catalogue of leggings, dresses, tracksuits and formal dresses, was costumes.  For a while there, I was producing 2 completely different costumes per year (book week and children’s day – a weird Qld thing), because you can’t wear the same costume twice.   It was a great way to stretch my sewing boundaries, tackling interesting fabrics like satin, mesh, chiffon, organza etc.  But, I thought my costume days were done, when she hit high school, and then adulthood.  Of course I still sew for her occasionally, but it tends to be “normal clothing”.

This year, she has been teaching for an extended period at a particular school,  and her stint corresponds with book week.  The theme is treasure, so I offered to make her a simple pirate costume she could wear.  At first I considered using a pirate wench pattern I had, but I quickly realised that it was sized for me, and therefore would swim on her.  With no vest patterns in the stash, my only other option was to draft from scratch.  This I did with the aid of a fantastic 80’s longline vest she had in her wardrobe.  I rubbed off the basic shape, redrew the dart using an FBA technique (she doesn’t need the FBA by the way, this girl DID NOT get her genes from me), and shaped the neckline and cut-away front. Considerations for the design, were that it was easy to move in (not too tight) and that we had nip coverage. She works primarily with special needs children, and so the underbust corset style of vest would be quite inappropriate.

Using a truly terrible piece of polyester crepe, I muslined my first try.  Naomi has one dropped shoulder, so I had to factor that into the design, so that the bodice would sit well.

Vest muslin

I made changes, muslined again, and it seemed to be ok (remember that this is a costume, and really doesn’t need a lot of finesse). Next, was fabric choice. The agreed on colour was red, and since I had nothing suitable in the stash, it was off to the fabric store. Now a sensible sewist would choose something firm and easy to sew; something like drill, canvas, or perhaps sateen. Something with a firm hand, and little likelihood to stretch inappropriately. Yes, well that went out the window, when I spotted the teal satin backed crepe. Teal is her all time favourite colour (I am more than fond of it too). So, teal it was. With brassy buttons.

Pirate vest

Next was an extended thought process, around construction method. The “quick and dirty” choice would be bias binding around the neckline and armholes, turned all the way to the inside, and then stitched down. But I was aware that the fabric could be mobile, and it may result in a crappy finish. Plus the centre fronts would need supporting for the buttonholes. I contemplated just facing the neckline and CF. In the end I went with an all in one facing, neckline, armholes and CF, pulled through at the shoulders. It was tight but manageable. Encountered my first hiccup; the darn fabric didn’t like holding a press, and the curves were too tight for understitching.

One of the many, many try ons for fit.
Pirate vest

I had planned from the start, that the fronts would sweep down at the hips, but that the back skirt would be a seperate piece at the back waist. I had planned to slash and spread the skirt section, to create a circle skirt, but Naomi asked for pleats. So I cut the pattern across the back waist (well a bit lower), and then added a butt load of width, which I took up with pleats. I stitched the pleats the lazy way, stitching a line down from the top edge, folding the pleat flat at the back, and then basting. Once the skirt was attached, and topstitched, I unpicked the line of vertical stitching. This means that none of my pleats overlap, or have mm gaps. Its lazy, but effective.
Pirate vest

In this process, we discovered that she has a short back (so the back should have been shorter), quite a sway back (the darts helped, but a CB seam would have been good too), and that while her ribcage is small, she is broad shouldered. I breed ’em weird.
Pirate vest

Next was finishing. Tammy (my sister) suggested topstitching all the edges in a decorative stitch (she was right in the middle of appliquéing book week costumes for her boys, so was inspired). Being teal, my thought was either black or purple, both which look good on teal. Naomi however wanted gold. We chose a stitch design (a blocky spiral, a bit aztec-ey), and then I started stitching with gold metallic embroidery thread. I expected this to be a trial, for it to knot up and shred, and for the fabric to move around and just generally be an arsehole. The sewing gods were on my side for a change. The overlocked edges kept the seams stable, the thread didn’t break once, and the whole thing took me far less time than I expected it to.

Vest - topstitching

Even the curved sections of the hemline cooperated. You can see the join of the fronts to the back.
Vest, hem topstitching

Buttonholes and buttons were added, and a bandanna was hemmed. Next I followed an online tutorial, and used an old business shirt of Tony’s to make the peasant undershirt. It was just cut off at the yoke/shoulders, edge hemmed, and a strip of elastic sewn on. I also cut off the cuffs, and added a row of lace. In hindsight, it could have been gathered but Meh!
Vest- with blouse

And the completed outfit. 4 solid nights of work (Tony and Nathan did cooking duties to give me time) and a couple of missed tv shows.
Finished

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Grieving for the dream

Posted on July 29, 2018 by Dani

Hubby is away, and if there is one thing I know, its that I shouldn’t be left alone.  It leaves me feeling a bit lost, and adrift.  And introspective.  Sometimes a bit of naval gazing is good, but I do tend to overthink, and make myself sad in the process.

When my father died, I remember trying to explain my grief to a friend.  My grief wasn’t the grief of losing a father, losing someone I loved, because I didn’t love him.  You just don’t grieve for someone who subjected you to emotional abuse as a child, who treated you as a weapon in a constant war, as a prize to be claimed.  Who never valued you as a person, criticised you for who you were, and were quick to blame you for their own mistakes and choices.  Whose love was conditional, and who threw you away, when you got “too hard”.  What you grieve for, is the dream; the made up daddy, who told you how proud he was of you, how beautiful he thought you were, who made you feel valued, and cherished.  That is the man I grieved for, all in my head.

But, the consequences of my childhood has had echos into my adult life, and impact on my life as an adult.  Of course my emotional makeup, and in particular the learned responses to conflict, mean that I am a bundle of anxiety at the best of times.  When an issue comes up in my relationships; in my marriage or at work; I find myself just shutting down, without any tools to assert my point, or work towards a resolution.  I struggle to articulate what I want, and then feel tremendous frustration when I don’t get it, followed by guilt for even wanting anything for myself, and then anger at feeling guilty.  And here we go round the mulberry bush.   I hold people at arms length, because getting close means opening myself up to the possibility of being hurt.  And when someone hurts me, the emotional pain is crushing.  Most of the time, its just easier to close myself off.

But …… its lonely.

All my life I have wished for a best friend.  Of course I have my sister, and my relationship with her is something I value beyond belief.  But it is an uneven relationship; I am older, we are at different stages in our lives, and our different (but equally damaging) upbringings,  mean that we both isolate ourselves emotionally.

What I think I want, is someone who gets me, who is on my wavelength, who genuinely cares for me.

Don’t get me wrong, I have a great bunch of friends, who are lovely, and who share similar interests.  But lovely as they are, none have that connection that I wish for.  A “bestie”, or at least what I imagine a bestie relationship would be.  And as I get older, I think more and more, that this lack in my life, is a situation of my own making.  My own anxieties and hurts, are what holds me back, from forming a deeper connection.

And so I grieve for this dream of a friendship.  And its lonely.

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Mistake = Design Feature

Posted on July 17, 2018 by Dani

Its a common joke …… mistake is made when sewing.  The resulting steps aren’t correcting a mistake; they are a Design Feature.

I cut out a version of my Bootstrap Fashions Raglan Tunic.  This top has been a mainstay in my wardrobe, and its a great winter layering piece.  Bootstrap Fashions are a “custom” company, using pattern making software, in order to take a customer’s measurements, and then produce a pattern that exactly fits that customer’s shape.  This was my first purchase.  But, when I put in my measurements, I forgot to put in what is called wearing ease.  Our clothes aren’t exactly the same size as us.  There is always space to allow us to breathe, eat a big meal, sit down; most clothing is about 1-2 inches bigger than us.

But, as its been so long, I completely forgot to add wearing ease when cutting.  And so I had a lovely tunic, that was extremely formfitting.  Ok for my slim daughter, not so good for me.

Adding a side panel

The key to a good design feature however, is that it has to look like it was meant to be that way in the first place. I could cut up the side seam, insert a strip of coordinating fabric, and that would have given me the room. But it would have looked obvious, and ruined the lines of the top. I decided to go the slow road. I used a princess seamed pattern, to get the general shape of the panels. This pattern happened to have pockets, so I decided to use that feature as well, creating a justification for the contrast insert.

Adding a side panel

It did involve cutting some width from the existing top (which seems counter productive since I was adding width) but stay with me!

Adding a side panel

Eventually, I finished with the existing front section, a new contrast side panel, and the lower side panel/pocket, cut from scraps.

Adding a side panel

So to start with, I attach the lower panel to the side panel. Can you see the problem?

AAARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!! Bloody directional fabric! Cut again!

Adding a side panel

Second time lucky, and I added the step of putting some tape along the pocket edge seam, as the first incarnation was a bit stretched ….. yet another design feature.

Adding a side panel

Lower panels added, and the pockets basted in place.

Adding a side panel

All thats left to do, is stitch the front and side seams again.

Adding a side panel

The temptation when making this sort of alteration, is to go overboard, and end up having a top that is miles too big. But this one has worked fine, giving me that little bit of wearing ease, so it doesn’t cling to my lumps and bumps.  With the added benefit, that by drafting a whole new pattern for the alteration, I can now have a different version for future tunics.

Just the collar and hems to do, and then I have another top for winter workwear.

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The loss of power

Posted on July 17, 2018 by Dani

Working in the education field, there is a lot of emphasis on power.  Children, especially those who have suffered disruption or trauma in their lives, need to feel in control of their lives. To feel they have choices, and that their needs, wants and feelings are genuinely being considered.  That we take their grievances seriously, and any remediation takes into account not only what we feel to be the facts, but also how they feel about both any given situation, and how the adults around them handle that situation.

I have had my power taken away, over and over and over.  I really don’t know how to take it back, or even if I can.  As an adult I just can’t express just how hollow and sad I feel right now.   I want to walk away, have nothing to do with Canberra Hospital, or the Endocrinology Unit, tell them all to just fuck off and get out of my life.  But I am trapped.  I can walk away, but then I risk a return of the cancer unchecked.

Last year, after having my thyroid removed, I started this horrible journey with the Endocrinology Unit at Canberra Hospital.  A dismissive doctor, who contradicted everything I said.  I have been stuck with this stupid, defective body for nearly 50 years.  When I say I don’t fit in the box, I am not trying to be special, or get preferential treatment, or somehow make myself out to be superior.  I just don’t fit.  If there are two ways that a particular issue will manifest itself, then my body will find a third, weird, totally unexpected way.  I had a 55mm cancerous tumour, hidden in my throat, with no external swelling, or indicators on standard tests.  Sure, loads of easy misdiagnosed symptoms but because I don’t fit into a number range, I was dismissed.  So many times in my life, I have had years and years of serious illness with no explanation or misdiagnosis, only to have an organ fail, and have doctors say “oh wow, well none of the tests showed X, but wow, you have this weird manifestation of the problem, you are unique/unusual/unexpected”.  I am sick of “u” words.

Apparently my doctor doesn’t put people in boxes…… so she said.  The first thing this woman said was “we need to get that BGL’s under control”.  Ummm, I would probably like you to focus on me not getting a secondary cancer, before you ride that old diabetes chestnut again.  I had Hashimoto’s, probably for decades.  But apparently all the various endocrinology investigations I have had over the years, summarily failed to diagnose a major auto-immune disorder (that impacts on glucose absorption) that was slowly damaging my thyroid until I got cancer.  Oh but apparently its quite common for this to go undiagnosed …… a box.  I have an allergy to iodine; ALL  types of iodine; ingested, on my skin and intravenously.  I know this, because when I have it, I have an allergic reaction.  But according to this doctor, apparently, lots of people think they are allergic, but aren’t really…….  another box.  And despite saying it over and over, somehow when I talked about being allergic to iodine in food or on my skin, I wasn’t actually making any noise.  As a result of this failure to listen, a major stuff up happened with my RadioActive Iodine treatment, with it being cancelled at the last minute.  Apparently that was the Nuclear Medicine Dept and my fault.  This mistake caused a 4 month delay in me receiving RAI, increasing my risk of secondary cancer.  And when I finally had the RAI, I came down with the flu, and suffered a weekend of isolation, so terribly sick that I thought I was going to die, with little medical attention.  When I complained, I was met with a stone wall of refusal to accept any fault.  To add insult to injury, apparently the hospital “doesn’t have duty of care” when I am having treatment, and “I have had more attention than anyone else over this cancer”.  And when I complained about this, I was incorrectly interpreting, and am obviously wrong in my views.  It doesn’t matter that my husband was sitting beside me, and even argued with this woman at one point; it doesn’t matter, I was wrong.

Despite following the complaints process, every step of the way, any power I might have held in my own health care, has been progressively stripped away.  How I have been treated, how its made me feel …. seems to not matter.  Its not important to the Canberra Hospital how they have impacted on my feelings.  My mental health, the trauma I have suffered …. it doesn’t seem to matter to the hospital.  As long as they have decided they are right, how they come to that decision, and whatever damage they do to me doesn’t matter.

I could have loaded all my grievances onto the internet.  I could have complained online, put my experiences onto news sites, web forums and chat pages.  I would have received a chorus of outraged support, with commenters and re-posting.   I could have rubbished both this doctor, and the hospital all over the place.  I would have had the same outcome, but perhaps I might have not felt so stripped bare and brutalised.

July 2018

When I initially wrote this, I had hit a stone wall, and was at a loss.  Much has happened since then.

I made a complaint to the Human Rights Commission, primarily to have my doctor at the Endocrinology Clinic changed without being placed back on a 2 year waiting list.  This was managed (although I did have to wait an extra 3 months after my March follow up appointment).  I also made a complaint further about the treatment from the hospital.  Their answer was to resend their initial response (not at fault), and punt it on to the doctor to answer.  While I wasn’t happy with her, she wasn’t at total fault for the behaviour of the hospital staff, and its unfair to make her responsible for everyone else.  I was given the opportunity to attend mediation, but I declined.  I just couldn’t face yet more attacks on my mental health.

I read somewhere, giving up doesn’t make us weak; it just acknowledges that we have reached our limit.  I had reached mine.

I have since had my follow up with a different doctor.  She was a bit combative, I think assuming that because I had made complaints, that I must have been unwilling to accept diagnosis or treatment.  I have always been quite willing to undergo treatment (what idiot would want to risk secondary cancer?), my complaint was the way I was treated in the process.

Now, it will be years of follow-ups and testing, to ensure I don’t get the cancer returning.  Oh, and probably constantly admonished by the doctor on my failure to control my BGL’s, but they will do nothing to try and understand why;  just blame me .  Same as always.

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